The day I met her, one of my (now) dearest friends spilled her coffee all over her desk on her first day of work. She nervously laughed it off and I was cordial enough to hide my utter annoyance. “Clumsy!” I thought. “I can’t believe I have to sit next to her!” But it didn’t take long for her to grow on me, and now ten years later, I’m still proud to call her my friend.

Sometimes we joke about her clumsiness but I always feel a little guilty for using such an ugly word. “Clumsy” is not at all endearing, but friends, I have some good news today! For those of you who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time, fear not. You never have to be called that dreaded C-word again. From now on, you will forever be known to me as “Terrifically Splatty.”

The German word is Tollpatschig:

Toll = cool or fantastic

Patsch = Splat!

So to be tollpatschig is to be Terrifically Splatty, and isn’t that just so much better than being called clumsy? Unfortunately, according to The German, “tollpatschig” is about as endearing in German as “clumsy” is in English, but the translation sure is lovely, isn’t it?

I would like to wish all of my terrifically splatty friends a safe and happy day of un-spilled coffee, un-dropped books, and un-tripped-over sidewalks!


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